Remembering Ray

Sean O'Connell

Read at the Memorial Service

March 3, 2004

Dear Ray,

I just poured myself a glass of YOUR Knappogue Castle. I say “yours” because I bought it for you and Sophie the week after you left our home after coming down for my 40th birthday party at New Years. I know how much you both enjoyed it as we sat up talking and laughing. I was going to give it to you the next time I was up in the Bay Area…but as things turned out I waited a bit too long to make the trip. Your beloved and I will just have to share a glass from time to time in your memory.

Memorial Service

Pictures from Ray's Memorial Service. The group in the last picture is composed of his fraternity brothers who were able to make it to San Fancisco to celebrate his life and mourn his death (photos courtesy of Jeff Simpson).

Slide Show

To scroll through the pictures that were shown in the Memorial Service Slide Show, click here.

Bill Young

Read at the Memorial Service

What to say about Ray O’Neal

When Vicky called me the Wednesday of Ray’s accident, I knew then that the day would come when I would have to talk about Ray O’Neal.

What I try to do when I am in a situation that is overwhelming, like this one is, I take a deep breath, take a step back, clear my mind, focus all my resources on the task at hand. That task is talking about my brother Ray O’Neal.

Anthony DeLucia

Read at Ray's Memorial Service

Ray’s Legacy

As we reflect on Ray’s passing it is easier to think about what we have all lost as opposed to what we have all gained from knowing him.

Ray would not have us remember his death, or to mourn him, but to use his example of living to more fully enrich our lives and those of the all the people we love.

Abigail Hayo

A poem to Ray, written by his loving wife Sophie. I, Abigail Hayo, Ray's sister, had the privilege of reading this at the memorial for Ray.

My Ray

Once a man walked the earth
A tall man, and good, all good
His stride was long and firm
His shoulders wide
Heavy burdens he could carry with ease, without complaint

Ron Etergino

My eulogy from the Memorial Service

As I look to the pews today I see faces that mirror mine. They are lined with sadness and etched in sorrow and behind the tears that fall for Ray O’Neal I see great love and respect. Love and respect for a man that spent his entire existence embracing life and leaving an impact on anyone that crossed his path.

Had anyone asked Ray what his finest legacy to the world would be, I have no doubt that he would have quickly answered, “my family”. He was a loving, devoted husband to Sophie and father to Rosebud. He was a loving son, brother, nephew, cousin and friend. He was robbed of living the length of life he deserved. We will forever miss his love, patience, guidance and his smile.

Chet Nevins

Lost Brothers are We - from the Memorial Service

We stand here before you in sorrow today,
For one of our brothers has passed away.
He leaves us in grief for the loss we all feel
But sharing his life made us better for real.

We came from the North to a school expecting learning.
But found something far more enduring.
Looking for knowledge to fuel our careers,
We found instead a man who would define our years.