Remembering Ray

10 years ago (loooooong story)

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of our first two dates. Yep, 2 in one day.

Ray and I met in a boxing aerobics class at the World Gym in Potrero Hill. So, about 3 1/2 weeks ago was the first day we met.

Midway through class, the woman I'd been working out with had to leave. So I looked around the large gym through about 60 hanging heavy bags, and saw in the far back corner a guy all alone working a bag. So, full of myself, I jogged over to him, put up my gloves, and said something seductive like "hi, c'mon". He, of course, dropped his gloves & looked down at me like I was nuts. I said, "c'mon!" again, so he -- gently, tentatively, I'm sure totally pulling his punch -- threw the first punch into my glove...and as my arm rocked back & my shoulder started to throb, I dimly realized the error of my ways...but damn was he cute...

He didn't talk to me for two weeks. I teased him mercilessly about that in the years to come.

Then one night, at the end of the class at cooldown, there he was again, the cute tall guy w/ the broken eye, asking if I wanted to do situps with him. Sure! and then afterwards, he asked if I'd ever heard of a band called the radiators. 'cause they were playing at the Great American Music Hall. and he was going. And...they were sold out! but if I did get in, he'd be at the bar to the right, with a bacardi and coke waiting for me.

That was Ray's idea of asking me out!

So I said, sure, maybe, I kinda had plans with my cousin....

Afterwards, I remember getting in my car, & driving onto the freeway, and off again, and back on, and by the time I got to my cousin Marian's I said "I feel kinda funny....but this really cute guy asked me out". And she said "oh you must be sick"...and I was, I was really sick, dunno what I was doing boxing. I stayed in bed for about a week.

So a week and 1/2 later, the Saturday after St. Pats, I showed up late to class. Gorgeous sunny day, so Dave, the instructor, had decided to have us work out outside at the ballfield across the street. Fun. And The Guy was there...After class, I was standing, idly, undoing my wraps, looking around out of the corners of my eyes trying to find The Guy. But he must have left...I thought Damn, asks me out once, I don't show, that's it...and then I realized there was a large shadow looming over my right shoulder. I turn around to find Ray subtly, idly, undoing HIS wraps, waiting for me to notice him!

Long story long...

He asked if I wanted to go get some lunch. We agreed to just go back & put sweats on & meet in the gym...and while I was getting dressed I remembered that I had to go meet my stepfather to look at houses while my mom was out of town. (btw, the house we looked at they've lived in for 10 years now, it was a keeper day.) So I had to leave the locker room and once again tell the cute guy I was blowing him off! He said no problem, let's go get coffee...so we walked up the hill, and he led me into a bar. The bartender wasn't too happy about the coffee orders, but hey it was 11:30. We went out on the back porch, who knew there was a back porch there, only Ray, fantastic view of SF, gotta be the most romantic bar in town. Told each other stories. Haven't I posted about this already? ah well...

Later, he walked me to my car, and then as I was leaving I asked what he was doing later that night. A VERY big step for me, I'd never asked anyone out. So he told me...he was going to a charity rodeo! That he'd gotten a sales call from some high school kid selling raffle tickets to a firefighters benefit, and he'd remembered doing the same thing in high school, so he'd bought. But that he didn't have dinner plans...

He picked me up on his motorcycle, drove me to the beach to watch the sunset. Then to a moroccan restaurant, sat on the floor, ate with our hands, told each other stories. We had b'stilla (a traditional moroccan dish) at our wedding in honor of this dinner. It was magical.

He drove me home, shook my hand goodbye, & drove off to his rodeo. I remember thinking "well, I guess this is going nowhere" (!). Went inside, changed to a very fancy long dress, rhinestones, heels, went out swing dancing with Marian. What's that they say about opposites?

The next morning I called my grandmother first thing. I said "Baba, I went on a date last night..." and she exclaimed "oh how wonderful!!" "Baa, that's not the news. The point is that it was a date you could tell your grandmother about...sunset, nice dinner, and then he SHOOK MY HAND GOODBYE". And she said "oh, I like this young man..." Baba always knew.

I won't post about our third date ;-)

oh i miss my love.