December 12, 2005

Early xmas present

Rose & I received the most amazing gift this weekend. We were cleaning up our cluttered living room to make way for the xmas tree and our millions of decorations. Something compelled me to tackle a shelf full of old magazines & random papers. In the midst we found a card from Ray, a xmas card, written our last xmas together. It's a memory note - we used to love to write those to each other. They're a long-winded way of saying I love you, full of memory bits, story fragments, signposts of adventures we shared and significant or small details of our lives together, reminders of so many moments of joy. I am so lucky to have several long notes like this, to have Ray's own lists of moments, to remember how happy he was, that he had so much fun & love in his life.

I can't even read it. Rose & I promised to give it to each other on xmas, I'll probably have to have her read it to me even then. What a man he was, my husband, my love.